the thing with being paranoid is, you're always one step ahead of everyone. most things are demoted to black and white, really, even if some people deny it. it's always the heart or the sword against your neck. nothing ever surprises you anymore. when the expected happens, all you can do is look away, pretend that nothing ever goes on when you know exactly that things aren't all they're cracked up to be.

it's either you're a very good guesser or things have just become sadly predictable.

funny thing is, you miss the times of being unaware. oblivious,even. you miss feeling anything other than the steady gloating of being right.