Note to the Misguided

Today, someone told me that I must be the most unappreciative person she has ever met.

Bah, humbug.

Just because people do stuff for me, it doesn't mean I have to like whatever shitty thing they decide to do for me during that particular moment. Right?

I have always been very vocal about my not wanting:


a.Surprises

Please do not give me surprise parties, surprise vacations, surprise propositions. I will never thank you for any surprise that you would unwittingly foist on me. Nothing personal, really. Just was never a fan of misguided good intentions.


b. Gifts

Since I have always tried my damndest to emulate my dad, I also tried to adopt his bad manners. Whenever the old geezer received a gift that he flat out did not like (especially if it was useless to him, like a mirror or a spoon), he'd say, " I don't like it. Please take it back."

Please was never the magic word in our house. It was used more as a cushion for rudeness.

I'm actually having a hard time regarding gifts. Since I do have some of my mother's genes, I am compelled to receive adorably worthless gifts with a fixed smile. I use the words 'thank you' because they are the most appropriate substitutes I can think of to the real phrases that I usually want to say, which are "Because of you, I now have an extensive collection of knickknacks that are utterly useless to me. Thank you." or " I think you might be needing this comb more than I do."

This endless editing is tiring.

I won't be hard to please if you stop trying too hard.