my very, very good friend inah has invited me to a site called zebo. i can never describe myself as an avid supporter of sites like those. it took months of persuasion for my ex to convince me to join friendster. i just had a ym id this year. and i almost never check my hotmail thingy.
the reason i couldn't develop a penchant for those sites is that sometimes, i get annoyed because they're all too cheesy for me. nix the word 'sometimes'.
this is a very fine example of what i'm getting at:
annette thinks you’re a barrel of laughs. In fact, annette wants you to join ZEBO so you can spread your sunshine to the rest of our hundreds of thousands of members. A fun-loving individual like yourself should share the love.
if i would do it my way, my invitation would go:
annette thinks you're lazy and that you have nothing better to do with your life. In fact, annette wants you to join ZEBO so you can share your insipid thoughts and embarrassing inanities with her so that she can have something to laugh at with her real friends (all of whom also think that you're a real loser). She knows that people like you would like to have fun but never will. So, you should be thankful for an opportunity as rare as this one for you can be sure that you will never receive another one like it for the rest of your disgusting life.
longer, yes. but more succinct, don't you think?
the reason i couldn't develop a penchant for those sites is that sometimes, i get annoyed because they're all too cheesy for me. nix the word 'sometimes'.
this is a very fine example of what i'm getting at:
annette thinks you’re a barrel of laughs. In fact, annette wants you to join ZEBO so you can spread your sunshine to the rest of our hundreds of thousands of members. A fun-loving individual like yourself should share the love.
if i would do it my way, my invitation would go:
annette thinks you're lazy and that you have nothing better to do with your life. In fact, annette wants you to join ZEBO so you can share your insipid thoughts and embarrassing inanities with her so that she can have something to laugh at with her real friends (all of whom also think that you're a real loser). She knows that people like you would like to have fun but never will. So, you should be thankful for an opportunity as rare as this one for you can be sure that you will never receive another one like it for the rest of your disgusting life.
longer, yes. but more succinct, don't you think?
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